Em viết thế này đã đúng ngữ pháp chưa ah, mong mn giúp đỡ ạ

Question

Hello! I'm V. Let me tell you about my family. I live with my grandmother, mother, father and sister. The family lives in a house in Binh Xuyen town, Vinh Phuc province. I am 23 years old, currently working and working in Hanoi. She was 80 years old. Grandma loves all children in the family. My grandmother is old, so walking is difficult and often has to stay at home, I love her very much. My mother 45 years old. My mother is two years younger than my father. My father and mother work together at my house, which continues the family tradition. Her name is M, the main housewife of the family, she is short and slim, she has long brown hair and brown eyes. Mother hardly has free time for herself, she nurtures the family. My dad's name is D. He's tall and a bit fat! He has short brown hair and blue eyes. My father and mother work together at my house, which continues the family tradition. My sister is 25 years old and loves listening to music. She listens to music all the time! She has long brown hair and green eyes, just like me. Because I work away from home, I can only video call by phone. Due to the epidemic, I have not been able to return to my family for 4 months, I am very sad and homesick. I hope the epidemic ends soon so that I can return to my lovely home and my beloved family. I love my family.

Answer 1

Hello! I'm V. Let me tell you about my family. I live with my grandmother, mother, father and sister. The family lives in a house in Binh Xuyen town, Vinh Phuc province. I am 23 years old, currently working and working in Hanoi. She was 80 years old. Grandma loves all children in the family. My grandmother is old, so walking is difficult and often has to stay at home, I love her very much. My mother 45 years old. My mother is two years younger than my father. My father and mother work together at my house, which continues the family tradition. Her name is M, the main housewife of the family, she is short and slim, she has long brown hair and brown eyes. Mother hardly has free time for herself, she nurtures the family. My dad's name is D. He's tall and a bit fat! He has short brown hair and blue eyes. My father and mother work together at my house, which continues the family tradition. My sister is 25 years old and loves listening to music. She listens to music all the time! She has long brown hair and green eyes, just like me. Because I work away from home, I can only video call by phone. Due to the epidemic, I have not been able to return to my family for 4 months, I am very sad and homesick. I hope the epidemic ends soon so that I can return to my lovely home and my beloved family. I love my family.

and often -> and she often (bạn bị thiếu chủ ngủ nha)

, I -> . I (đây là hai mệnh đề độc lập bạn phải sử dụng dấu chấm thay vì dấu phẩy)

I can only .... -> I can call the only video by phone (bạn bị thiếu V ở câu này nên mình sửa lại nha)

been able to return -> returned (dài dòng)

, I -> . I (đây là hai mệnh đề độc lập bạn phải sử dụng dấu chấm thay vì dấu phẩy)

Còn lại ngữ khá ok. Chúc bạn học tốt!

Answer 2

Hello! I'm V. Let me tell you about my family. I live with my grandmother, mother, father and sister. My family lives in a house in Binh Xuyen town, Vinh Phuc province. I am 23 years old, currently working and working in Hanoi. She was 80 years old. Grandma loves all children in the family. My grandmother is old, so walking is difficult and often has to stay at home, I love her very much. My mother 45 years old. My mother is two years younger than my father. My parents work together at my house, which continues the family tradition. Her name is M, the main housewife of the family, she is short and slim, she has long brown hair and brown eyes. Mother hardly has free time for herself, she nurtures the family. My dad's name is D. He's tall and has a bit fat! He has short brown hair and blue eyes. My father and mother work together at my house, which continues the family tradition. My sister is 25 years old and she loves listening to music. She listens to music all the time! She has long brown hair and green eyes, just like me. Because I work away from home, I can only video call by phone. Due to the epidemic, I have not been able to return to my family for 4 months, I am very sad and homesick. I hope the epidemic ends soon so that I can return to my lovely home and my beloved family. I love my family.